I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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