I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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