You're so nebulous sometimes
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
