Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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