I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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