just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My liver just had a heart attack.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
