you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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