Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
