even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
that is very illegal...i love you.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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