Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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