Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
