I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
