Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
