So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
