fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
