fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
