i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize