Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
