yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
