i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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