I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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