Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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