South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
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He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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