You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
