the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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