He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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