wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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