Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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