I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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