I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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