You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
