I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize