I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
