I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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