sarcasm needs its own font
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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