Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
