Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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