Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize
