Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
