He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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