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sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
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