whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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