If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Operation Purity has been aborted
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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