So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
