I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
