and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
