I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so explain again why im purple
no
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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