yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Is this like a preordered booty call?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
