plz talk dirty to me
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
