Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
