i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I still have a little drunk in my system
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
