hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Randomize
