why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
