im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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