you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
its not stalking. its research.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
