Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
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We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
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How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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