Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Randomize
