But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
