So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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