I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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